Why we're not having another Home Birth

Our first two children were both born in Hospitals. Cobi was delivered with a Midwife after an induced labor due to pregnancy induced hypertension. Micah was caught, barely, by an OB after a totally natural labor although also clouded by the hypertension. Both births were "healthy" and there were no complications. I just don't like hospitals. I hate how germy they make me feel. I hate the bright light and the beeping machines. I hate being woken up every few hours to check "vitals". I hate that their protocol takes over my natural Mama instants. I hated having to fight them off of vaccines and eye goop, blood draws and iv's. I just wanted a natural, how God created birth to be, type of labor and delivery. With my third child I just knew I wanted to deliver her at Home. I love the idea of not having to leave the house to deliver. I love that we're surrounded by our creature comforts, our germs, and our children and whomever else we wanted, or didn't want, present! I loved the one-on-one care I received from my Midwife! She was fantastic and so knowledgeable! She came to my home for every prenatal visit. She was truly a God-send! This third pregnancy also presented with hypertension but we believe it's just how my body responds to end of pregnancy and it wasn't a concern. The day I went into labor I was a little concerned because my daughter had been breech for the weeks and days leading up the labor. I did everything in my power to get her to turn and just prayed that she was head down! Labor was extremely sporadic and intense from the get-go. I was nervous we would end up having to transfer to a hospital because my contractions were so different from my two previous deliveries. My Midwife suggested I get into the birthing pool to see if that would bring the contractions into a better pattern and get me in the right mindset to actually birth this little lady! Well, it worked! Contractions became regular, although still insanely intense. My Midwife knew, although I had no idea and she didn't tell me so as to protect my birthing mind, that baby girl was posterior. That simply means she was not in an ideal position to be born BUT she was head down and would come out just fine, albeit more painfully. After 2 hours of labor and 14 minutes of pushing our little girl was finally here. Unfortunately I had some hemorrhaging. My Midwife swooped in with her magic concoctions and quickly resolved the bleed. I ended up passing out after getting up and was instructed to stay literally on my back for two days to rest and recuperate. I did and healed up just fine. My Midwife came back for her checks postpartum and was just amazing with my Daughter and I. I loved the home birth experience and it felt so right! On rolls the next pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage with substantial hemorrhaging and an emergency D&C. We found out shortly after the surgery that we were already expecting another child. We were elated but then had to decide whether to birth this baby at home again or in a hospital. So we began praying and feeling out which was a better option. We listed out our pro's vs. con's and have decided that this baby, our last and final birth, will be caught in the hospital. We're not in a place financially to afford another home birth. However, our deciding factors were based on that still, small voice. We really feel led to deliver in a hospital. We feel safest being in the hands of a wonderful OB who has quick access to anything necessary to prevent hemorrhage or to preform a cesarean if necessary. We know we're insane for going from home birth back to hospital birth but we are trusting the Lord and his direction for this birth. We are obviously praying and believing we'll be able to have another natural and healthy delivery but don't want to be foolish when we feel led to deliver in a certain place. I believe that birth should take place wherever the Mama and Daddy feel most comfortable whether that be in the hospital, birth center, home, etc. It's about giving women educated choices and supporting them! Our educated and supported decision is to birth this baby in the hospital and we're at peace with that. We are a bit saddened at the loss of our home base advantage but knowing what we know after having three previous births, we're confident we will get the birth we're desiring, however it comes to play out!

Miscarriage of Aubrey Anne - Graphic Details

Christmas 2011 was slightly insane! Christmas Eve was spent up at Grandma Schwartz's house and was a great time as always. The kids did so great and were quite well-behaved. Unfortunately, we found out the week before that our baby no longer had a heart beat. The day after my birthday I started cramping and had a gush of blood. Ultrasound confirmed our fears that the baby was with Jesus. We allowed the miscarriage to proceed naturally but were on the lookout for hemorrhaging like we had with our first loss, Uriah. Back to Christmas Eve. The kids had a great time seeing everybody. The boys especially loved running up and down Great Grandma's long hallway. They all had fun opening and playing with their new gifts as well. I began cramping noticeably so we decided to head home so I could rest and be in our house if the miscarriage actually completed then. We made it home around 9:30pm and got the kids to bed. We went to sleep shortly there after looking forward to Christmas day! We woke up the next day and went to breakfast with my Mom and Sister before heading off to our church where Jeremy's family was hosting Christmas. I began cramping pretty intensely during breakfast but prayed we could enjoy our Christmas with our families. Lunch time at the church rolls around and the kids are not eating but rather running around. I'm feeling worse as time goes on and pretty much know the miscarriage is happening now. We were able to open 90% of the gifts before I really begin cramping and bleeding. I had brought supplies with to the church but not enough so Jeremy had to run home to get more. He got back to the church and I ended up losing some large, golf ball sized clots. During one trip to the restroom after losing, what I thought was just a clot, Jeremy had come with me and we realized the cloth was actually our baby. She came out perfectly formed! We could see her hands and feet, her eyes, and even her spine. She was perfect even in such a small package. I was devastated and not prepared for that. We were told the baby would not be recognizable and that it would just be tissue and clots....wrong!!! We wrapped her in a gift box and headed home so I could rest and we could recover. Unfortunately on the way home the cramping really picked up as did the bleeding. By the time we got home I was hemorrhaging and badly so we dropped the kids off with my Mom and headed into the ER. The admitting nurse didn't believe me when I told her I was hemorrhaging so she had me wait for a nurse to come get me from the waiting room. Nobody truly knew how much blood I was losing until I stood up from the wheelchair and it was pouring down my legs out of my pants, onto the floor. Shortly thereafter I was assessed and deemed not stable enough to transport to the hospital that my OB's staff. So an on-call Doctor was called in to preform an emergency D&C. The ER doctor couldn't even get the bleeding to slow down enough to fully asses how much blood I was losing. After all was said and done, they estimated I lost around 40% of my blood but thankfully I didn't need a transfusion. We headed home shortly after the surgery and were able to grieve the loss of our child. We had her remains cremated and the urn now rests in our room with the things we have from her loss and her big brother's loss as well. We are obviously saddened by the loss of our precious baby girl but know she is with Jesus and we will see her again someday!