Miscarriage of Aubrey Anne - Graphic Details

Christmas 2011 was slightly insane! Christmas Eve was spent up at Grandma Schwartz's house and was a great time as always. The kids did so great and were quite well-behaved. Unfortunately, we found out the week before that our baby no longer had a heart beat. The day after my birthday I started cramping and had a gush of blood. Ultrasound confirmed our fears that the baby was with Jesus. We allowed the miscarriage to proceed naturally but were on the lookout for hemorrhaging like we had with our first loss, Uriah. Back to Christmas Eve. The kids had a great time seeing everybody. The boys especially loved running up and down Great Grandma's long hallway. They all had fun opening and playing with their new gifts as well. I began cramping noticeably so we decided to head home so I could rest and be in our house if the miscarriage actually completed then. We made it home around 9:30pm and got the kids to bed. We went to sleep shortly there after looking forward to Christmas day! We woke up the next day and went to breakfast with my Mom and Sister before heading off to our church where Jeremy's family was hosting Christmas. I began cramping pretty intensely during breakfast but prayed we could enjoy our Christmas with our families. Lunch time at the church rolls around and the kids are not eating but rather running around. I'm feeling worse as time goes on and pretty much know the miscarriage is happening now. We were able to open 90% of the gifts before I really begin cramping and bleeding. I had brought supplies with to the church but not enough so Jeremy had to run home to get more. He got back to the church and I ended up losing some large, golf ball sized clots. During one trip to the restroom after losing, what I thought was just a clot, Jeremy had come with me and we realized the cloth was actually our baby. She came out perfectly formed! We could see her hands and feet, her eyes, and even her spine. She was perfect even in such a small package. I was devastated and not prepared for that. We were told the baby would not be recognizable and that it would just be tissue and clots....wrong!!! We wrapped her in a gift box and headed home so I could rest and we could recover. Unfortunately on the way home the cramping really picked up as did the bleeding. By the time we got home I was hemorrhaging and badly so we dropped the kids off with my Mom and headed into the ER. The admitting nurse didn't believe me when I told her I was hemorrhaging so she had me wait for a nurse to come get me from the waiting room. Nobody truly knew how much blood I was losing until I stood up from the wheelchair and it was pouring down my legs out of my pants, onto the floor. Shortly thereafter I was assessed and deemed not stable enough to transport to the hospital that my OB's staff. So an on-call Doctor was called in to preform an emergency D&C. The ER doctor couldn't even get the bleeding to slow down enough to fully asses how much blood I was losing. After all was said and done, they estimated I lost around 40% of my blood but thankfully I didn't need a transfusion. We headed home shortly after the surgery and were able to grieve the loss of our child. We had her remains cremated and the urn now rests in our room with the things we have from her loss and her big brother's loss as well. We are obviously saddened by the loss of our precious baby girl but know she is with Jesus and we will see her again someday!